The Walrus, a Canadian magazine as awesome as space lasers, has a Guilty Pleasures competition concerning the most exciting possible opening paragraph to a guiltily pleasurable genre. What do you guys think of this?

Captain’s Log, The Belly-Cruiser, 12/10/3331 CE: “I know they’re genetically-modified space-swimming dire wolves, but damn it Waldorf, we have no time! Ten thousand of them aren’t a problem, just power up the—excuse me? The sun’s about to explode? Well—damn it, they’ve—here they are—the dire wolves are on the bridge! They’ve opened up The Belly-Cruiser like a tin can, and—octopuses in space-suits are riding on their backs with electric spears! Watch out Waldorf! No! Waldorf has disintegrated. Repeat, Waldorf has—my belly hair is on fire, just dodged a—fight them, men! Ignore the vacuum of space! Lieutenant Mayo! I’ve been looking for you—no, Lieutenant Mayo, this isn’t the time to have sex, I know this is our last chance but I’m not sure where your—oh, it’s right there? I thought that was your fifth eye—oh! One of your heads is gone! I do want to—it’s too late—I love you—wait, why do those octopuses have trumpets—” Following a scream, unidentifiable bursts of static, and faint strains of mariachi music, the record ends. [Analyst’s note 15/10/3331: Mariachi?—octopus victory tune? Possible Mexican origin of the Gen-Mo Octo-Imperium Threat? Investigate the Mexicans. Could be misdirection (other data has indicated German octopuses).]

I’d read a book about genetically-modified dire wolves and Mexican space-faring octopuses.

In other news, I’m happy about this song by Portugal. The Man from the Kata Rokker blog. Although the period in the middle of their name makes me nervous. This track from the Animal Show blog is also quite exciting.

Lastly, does anyone know anything about the Transmetropolitian comic? Because I want to make love to it in a sweet and beautiful way. It’s about a overwhelmingly hairy man named Spider Jerusalem who writes things. If only I could reach such heights. I think he loses the hair later on – that’s him in the image at the top – but hey, you can’t have it all.